I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
How naked do you want me to be?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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