Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
