i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
