Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
