I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
