Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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