It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
