Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
