i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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