it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
