Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
