1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize