They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She's the barista slut.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
