what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
its liver damage thursday
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
