I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
