Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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