I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
