Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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