She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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