it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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