i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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