When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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