I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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