there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
