i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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