at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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