Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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