ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
