I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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