I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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