Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
