Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
