why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
