I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
