My brain says no but my pants say off.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
