whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
