You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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