if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
