That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
