You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
