Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
