You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize