yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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