just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
