in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Operation Purity has been aborted
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There's always time for handjobs
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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