When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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