New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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