The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
