Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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