yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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