We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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