I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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