What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
