sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
