everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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