We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
