She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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