If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
