I am spending my child support on dildos
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
