it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
