I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
