where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
