Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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